Sad Day

I found out today that my Grandmother is not expected to make it through the night.  

For years, we have been waiting for *that* phone call.  Every time we have visited her in Wisconsin we thought we were saying 'goodbye' for the last time.  In tears we would leave the nursing home and return to wait for the day we would hear was officially her last.  Several times we were put on alert: she would have pneumonia and surely it would be too much,. . .but she always bounced back.

This time it's for real.  My Great Aunt Barbara is holding vigil waiting for the rest of the family to come and say goodbye, and quick as that plans are in the works to liquidate her furniture and belongings.  

What really bothered me was that I didn't expect the reaction I had when that phone call came.  We've been expecting it, I thought I would be sad, and think of her, and just be normal. . .but instead I broke down into tears.

This is the Grandmother that always called me 'Chrissy'.  I'm not sure she ever knew that wasn't my name.  She used to draw koala bears and owls on my birthday cards and mail them too me, she was very good at drawing and is her one showcase talent.  I have always remembered the family reunion 15 years ago where she tried to climb the jungle gym at the playground to be with the children. . .she was so frail at the time but still had all of her spunk.

There is a photo of her in her teenage years, proof positive of our relation to each other as I am the spitting image of her younger days.  

I know that she has not been healthy, and she has lost a lot of her mind as she rarely remembered us when we would visit and was quick to forget things that happened.  It is comforting, that said, to know that she is surely now going to be in a better place.  At the moment she is still with us, but her hours are numbered.

Grandma Lorienne Jiles